


you have a heart and i have a key

by nightdescending



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 15:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightdescending/pseuds/nightdescending
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes months for Mihashi to realize that Abe actually means it when he says he believes in him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you have a heart and i have a key

It takes months for Mihashi to realize that Abe actually means it when he says he believes in him.

He figures Abe is being nice. He figures Abe wants him to do well, so of course he tells him that he believes in his abilities.

It takes _months_ , and afterward Mihashi feels stupid, but he also feels like it could only ever have worked out this way.

—

On the field, he trusts Abe immediately.

Abe seems to do the same, and it's strange, having his catcher place his trust in him once again, but it feels good. Mihashi feels calmer, somehow, but.

Mihashi reminds himself that if he doesn't perform, if he's not up to Abe's standards, then Abe will give up on him just like they did in middle school.

And he can't do this, he can't live up to anyone's expectations, he's not good enough to satisfy his catcher no matter who it is, and he feels so, so small. He feels all the usual guilt building up in his chest, and he wants to cry.

But Abe gives him a signal. Mihashi nods his understanding, and he does exactly as Abe wanted him to do, and if he didn't know better, Mihashi would say Abe looks impressed. But he knows better.

—

Sometimes they win and sometimes they don't.

Either way, Mihashi feels responsible. He feels like Abe's disappointment is a tangible thing. He feels the weight of it on his bones.

His teammates always tell him he did good. Abe always tells him he did good. Mihashi feels good, and everything is normal, but then he remembers that Abe is better than him. Abe is such a good catcher, always asking for the perfect pitch for that moment, and Mihashi wishes he could be good enough to give Abe what he wants.

He buries his face between his knees while he's sitting out while others are up to bat and he ignores the feeling of Abe's staring on his back.  
—

Today, they're playing against an opponent who has clearly studied them, and despite the fact that they've studied the other team as well, they feel like they're at a disadvantage. Mihashi knows everyone is stressed, and he feels tense too. His whole body feels tight.

He throws all his pitches exactly as Abe calls them, but he's still tense. Abe is wearing an odd expression, and then he frowns, and Mihashi is slightly devastated.

Abe looks down, and when he brings his head up again, he yells that Mihashi is doing well.

Mihashi's eyes widen, and for a few moments, he allows himself to believe it.

The thing is, though, Abe keeps saying it. All throughout the rest of their plays together, Abe keeps telling him that he's doing well. Something tightens in Mihashi's chest, and when Abe smiles at him after a particularly good pitch, Mihashi feels _good_.

He feels like he can win, and he likes to think that Abe looks like he agrees.

—

It's the bottom of the eighth and the other team is two runs ahead.

Abe calls a timeout. He runs over to Mihashi, and so do the other players, and Mihashi feels his face heat up, feels the urge to run away, but he pushes it down.

Abe looks him in the eye, and Mihashi wants to disappear, but there's nowhere to run on the mound.

He messed up, he shouldn't have given away so many hits, he should've been better, Abe was counting on him, and—

"Give me your hand," Abe says.

Abe has raised his hand already, MIhashi realizes. He stares at Abe for half a second before you brings his hand up to rest against Abe's, and he knows Abe just wants to check his warmth, his grip's strength, but then.

Abe threads his fingers together with Mihashi's, and he feels like the world is sliding out from beneath him.

"Ren," Abe says, and it's so quiet that Mihashi isn't sure if he was even meant to hear it, but he did, and it's there and he doesn't quite remember how to breathe.

"Takaya?" he says, quiet as well, and Abe's lips twitch up at the corner for half a second, and Mihashi thinks this is how it should be.

And then Abe lifts his other, gloved hand to his face to stop their opponents from figuring out what he's saying and begins talking strategy, and everyone seems perfectly comfortable to follow suit.

But Abe's fingers are still twined together with his, and Mihashi feels light.

They end the timeout and everyone goes back to their places. Mihashi feels stronger, sharper, like he can meet every one of Abe's instructions. He allows himself to bask in the feeling for a few moments, and then Abe is signaling the pitch he should throw next, and he throws it perfectly.

—

In the top of the ninth, they score two runs. They're tied, and Mihashi knows that in the extra inning, he'll do anything to allow Abe to win. He's determined to not give up any hits after this.

In the bottom of the ninth, the other team scores a run.

Mihashi feels like he's sinking into the earth at his feet.

They lose the game, and they're polite to the other team, but Mihashi can feel how disappointed everyone is, and he wants to collapse into himself and disappear.

—

Afterward, everyone stays in the dugout, but Mihashi slips away. He finds himself back in the changing room, and he feels like absolute shit. He leans forward until his forehead falls against his locker. He should've been better, but he let them have that last run, and he's the reason they lost, and—

He feels an arm slide around his waist, feels breath on his neck, and his heart speeds up.

"It's not your fault," Abe says against his neck, and Mihashi wishes he could believe that. "I was the one calling your pitches. Don't blame yourself," he says.

"No," Mihashi says, and he leaves it at that, knows Abe will understand what he means.

And then strong arms are pulling at his sides, and he's turned around so that his back is pressed against the lockers. Abe's face is inches from his, and when he breathes, "It's not your fault," Mihashi can feel it against his lips.

Mihashi feels dazed.

Abe leans forward.

Abe is kissing him.

Mihashi's mind goes completely blank. Abe is kissing him. He stays completely still, and then Abe is pulling back, and his brain distantly protests.

Abe pulls back, and he looks embarrassed, and Mihashi never wants to see that expression again. He leans forward instinctively, presses his lips back to Abe's.

Abe kisses him back immediately. Mihashi wants to be upset that he didn't react the same way when Abe kissed him, but really all he can think about is how Abe's lips are soft and warm, how this feels so natural and so good.

Abe makes a muffled sound against his lips, and Mihashi feels himself respond. His hand moves upward to tangle in Abe's hair, and he realizes Abe's hand is in his already, and he feels too sensitive all over. Abe pulls at Mihashi's hair until he tilts his head slightly back, breaking their kiss, and then Abe's mouth is against his pulse and yet again, Mihashi can't think.

Mihashi feels Abe sucking a bruise into his neck and he can't imagine anything better.

He feels like he could stay like this forever and he would never want anything else.

And then Abe, his hands still pulling Mihashi close, grinds his hips forward, and Mihashi reciprocates. He grinds back against Abe, feels the way they press against each other, feels that Abe is just as desperate as he is.

Abe's breath is hot against Mihashi's neck, and Mihashi's whole body feels so warm, and—

Someone whistles to their side and they pull apart as if they're burning each other.

Hanai laughs far too loudly for the situation, Mihashi thinks. His cheeks are red, and he guesses Abe probably looks the same, but Abe has already pulled Mihashi close to him and buried his embarrassed face in his shoulder, so he can't actually tell. Abe presses his face into Mihashi's hair, and it's comforting, and he's even more embarrassed.

"Took you long enough," Tajima half-laughs. Mihashi spends a brief moment wishing he was deaf, but then he feels Abe smile against him and everything is fine.

—

After, things are different. Mihashi feels like his pitching is getting better with practice, and Abe keeps telling him it is, and Mihashi feels lighter.

Abe tells him he's doing well, and suddenly Mihashi believes him, and he watches the way Abe seems to light up when Mihashi smiles after one of his compliments, and he feels good. Abe smiles at him, and after practice Mihashi more often than not finds his hands seeking Abe's, and he pulls him toward the locker room. After the other boys have changed and left, Mihashi will press his lips to Abe's, and Abe will press back, and Mihashi will hope that Abe can feel his smile.

They leave hand in hand, and Mihashi somehow, miraculously, knows that Abe will always be there to thread their fingers together when he needs it. He's never felt this sure about anything in his life.

Abe smiles beside him, and they make their way home.


End file.
